


little things

by diphylleiia



Category: K-pop, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Gen, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-12
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-20 11:34:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30004251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/diphylleiia/pseuds/diphylleiia
Summary: namjoon watches.he's always watching, for the little things.the little things, like a baby grinning at him from the sidewalk, or the way a girl pouts as her hair flies into her lipgloss.namjoon loved the world.why couldn't the world love him?
Relationships: Kim Namjoon | RM/Kim Seokjin | Jin
Comments: 1
Kudos: 10





	1. 4.06pm

namjoon took a deep breath as he entered the bus, exchanging a ticket with the driver and scanning the vehicle for a spare seat.

he spotted one by the window, clinging to the pole as he excused his way to the seat, letting out a sigh of relief when he sat down.

he glanced around the bus. there was a school girl with a short bob, orange glasses and narrow eyes. she had a few freckles dotted around her face. she was staring out of the window, her plump lips parting slightly as she mouthed the words to a song. she shifted uncomfortably as if she knew somebody's eyes were on her.

namjoon wondered what song it was. namjoon hoped she passed the next test she had.

then there was a woman. she, too, was staring out of the window. she wore beige pants, a beige cardigan and a white blouse. her lips were pursed together. she brushed her hair to the side, behind her ear. her fingers were dainty and thin, adorned with rings. a pearl necklace lay at the base of her neck. namjoon noticed her lipstick was smudged slightly, and her eyes were puffy. she still looked beautifully elegant.

namjoon wondered why she was crying. namjoon hoped she wouldn't cry any more.

there was an elderly man, his hair grey. he wore a suit, a smile plastered on his face as if he was remembering fond memories. he had a kind aura. somebody who had a story to tell, who had lived a great life. he watched the man's eyes drift towards the front of the bus, his trembling hands pushing the stop button. namjoon watched the man hold the pole as he struggled to stand, before making his way slowly down the aisle. namjoon watched him bow at the bus driver, saying his thanks.

namjoon wondered why he was happy. namjoon hoped he would continue to he happy.

then he looked away.

the sun was setting, casting an orange light across the bus. it was quiet, for a late afternoon on a sunday. he admired the way the sun cast light onto the world. he could see his shadow on the floor.

he smiled, tilting his head as inspiration for a song struck him. he listened to the sound of the engine, the distant sound of cars and horns. the low buzzing of the engine beneath him as the bus rumbled along the dirty seoul roads.

it was quiet, apart from the small sounds. namjoon smiled once more. it was pretty. he wondered how many people had travelled this road, and why. the regular college students making their way to and from school, the elderly making their weekly shops. the schoolchildren meeting their friends, young couples on their way to a date.

it was amazing, really, namjoon thought. people were amazing. the world was breath-taking if you thought about it. 

namjoon found it fascinating, other peoples' lives. he wondered where the schoolgirl was going, and where the woman had been. he wondered why that old man was so happy.


	2. 4.08pm

namjoon fell in love with people a lot. he saw a stranger on the street, and he was in love. he loved people, he loved the world.

he thought it was so pretty, the little things.

not many people appreciate the little things. that's why namjoon tried to. he loved the little things.

he loved the little things: watching a leaf fall to the ground in autumn; a schoolgirl give a boy a quick peck on the cheek; a baby smiling at a stranger, and for the stranger to wave back.

all of this made namjoon fall in love with the world, and people more. he found people so fascinating. he found the world fascinating.

he gazed out of the window, his eyes focusing on a girl. she had black hair, pale skin. she was stood in a bus stop across the road. namjoon noticed the way she looked around every so often, nervously. he tilted his head as she whipped her head around once again.

the way the light fell onto her face made her seem magical, beautiful. she pursed her lips together, and her face lit up when she saw her bus. she shivered slightly, wrapping her jacket around her more. namjoon caught the glimpse of a small tattoo on her collarbone.

namjoon was in love again. unable to tear his eyes away from the girl, he watched her get on the other bus. she walked stiffly. namjoon could just about see her smile at an elderly person, and then sit down near the window.

her eyes met his from across the road. it seemed they shared a mutual thought. it was gone as soon as it was there, and namjoon smiled at her as the bus pulled away from the stop. she looked confused for a second, but abruptly waved back, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. she was beautiful. namjoon wished he could tell her that.

namjoon wondered wondered what her name was. jisoo? maybe chaeyoung, or gowon. namjoon shook his head, reminding himself she was gone now.

namjoon wondered where she had been and where she was going. he hoped she, too, would be happy, and that he would see her again.

namjoon turned his attention away from the retreating bus, and to the person who had just entered the bus.

it was a boy around his age, wearing a dark leather jacket and ripped black jeans. he had black hair, and was tanned and muscular. he seemed threatening.

however as he neared the seats, namjoon saw his hands shaking wildly and the way he fiddled with his lip ring anxiously. 

he seemed less threatening when namjoon noticed that. he sat across from namjoon, opening his phone and putting his earphones in. namjoon looked away, until he thought the boy was engrossed in his music.

then namjoon looked back. the boy had thin lips, but a sharp jawline and oval eyes. he twirled his lip ring anxiously, nodding his head to the beat of his music.

namjoon seemed to fall in love again.


	3. 4.11pm

you see, namjoon loved everything. everyone and everything.

he loved red people: fiesty, loud and reckless, who loved late night car rides and who smelt of fire, who made you feel dangerous, with black angel wings and who belonged to the night. he was reminded of the girl across the road.

he loved orange people: big smiles and soft giggles, herbal teas and oversized t-shirts, who danced around the house, sun leaking through closed blinds and acoustic guitars. he had a feeling orange people felt trapped, unable to do as they wanted but were still grateful for what they had; he was reminded of the schoolgirl.

he loved midnight people: heavy metal music, with a loud laugh and dirty sense of humour, who only wore black, with messy hair and piercings and tattoos, and tangled headphones. he was reminded of the boy.

he loved beige people: always in a rush, foundation stains on white shirts and knee high boots, classy and elegant, caring but loud, night carnivals and iced coffees. he was reminded of the woman.

he loved blue people: subtle sadness and pale eyes, intelligent and wise, calm and caring, cool water and wind chimes, a storyteller and a lover, who smelled of fresh linen and toothpaste, and trusted God. he was reminded of the old man.

namjoon loved pink people: high pony tails, glossy makeup and good advice. they were always popular, sassy and sarcastic, short shorts and miniskirts, and scented candles. they had loud laughs, loved caring and being cared for. they loved being around people.

namjoon loved angel people: white flowy dresses and shirts, white converse and pearl and gold necklaces. wavy and curly hair, angel wings and freckles. their skin was soft and dewy. they loved the ocean, and they seemed to float, glide across the floor. long limbs, and soft smiles.

and so, namjoon was staring at the midnight boy before him, until he was snapped out of his thoughts as his eyes met the boy's. namjoon felt his cheeks heat up, and he dragged his eyes away to the door, where the beige woman had stepped off, calling goodbye to the bus driver.

namjoon watched her walk away. he noticed the small wobble in her step, but how she kept her head held high as she strutted down the pavement. namjoon smiled slightly.

a boy had taken her place: a pink boy.

this pink boy, with messy blonde hair and glossy lipgloss, bright blush and mom jeans, rolled up to his ankles and pink fishnets peeking out from underneath. pink converse, and a pink jumper. he touched his cheek gently, and namjoon softened at the sight of his sweater paws. he had plump lips, and soft-looking skin. he was small and dainty.

he seemed to notice namjoon's eyes on him, and he looked up, bewildered. namjoon smiled gently at him, and his expression softened as he bowed his head. namjoon noticed he had placed his backpack - a pink kanken - beside him, with a carton of strawberry milk in the pocket.

namjoon loved him as soon as he laid his eyes on him, but he tore his eyes away after seeing his nervous glance towards the bus driver.

namjoon sighed softly, looking back out of the window, a fluttery feeling in his chest as he felt his cheeks heat up.


	4. 4.20pm

the schoolgirl got off at the next stop, throwing a glance at the three boys and adjusting her skirt nervously. she thanked the bus driver, brushing her hair out of her face. she clutched her phone in one hand. namjoon watched her step off the bus, pausing a second before making her way down a street.

a young girl got on. actually, was she young? namjoon couldn't tell whether she was 12 or 30. namjoon immediately knew she was an angel person. she wore a white dress, light brown hair framing her face. she had a small button nose, sprayed with freckles, and dewy skin. she was tall, but petite too.

she sat near the driver, looking around nervously. namjoon caught a glimpse of scars on her wrist, and his stomach wrenched. he wondered what made her sad, and he hoped she wouldn't do it again and she could recover.

namjoon once again pulled his eyes away from her as the midnight boy stood up, pushing the stop button with ease, but the next stop was still a while away. namjoon took no notice, looking at his lap and examining his hands.

until he heard voices, one low and serious, and the other louder but sweeter. he turned his head to see the midnight boy talking to the pink boy, and he grinned as he heard their conversation.

'my name's jeongguk,' the midnight boy coughed, running his hands through his hair, 'i was wondering... do you want to...'

'...go on a date?' the pink boy asked a little unsurely, and jeongguk nodded, 'of course,' he paused, unlocking his phone, 'i'm jimin,'

'nice to meet you jimin,' they exchanged phone numbers, and jeongguk waved as he stepped off of the bus.

namjoon noticed the faint blush covering his cheeks, and the way he was unclenching and clenching his fists. jimin waved back shyly, smiling softly, his cheeks pink.

namjoon loved the little things. the little things, which nobody else would've noticed. such as this, a tough looking boy asking a softer boy on a date and melting for him.

he hoped their date went well.

this time, a beige boy got on. he had light brown hair, a freckle on his nose and lip, dressed in a tan coat and jeans, a white turtleneck and a bag slung over his shoulder. he looked like a college student, around the pink boy's age.

they gave each other a brief nod when they passed, which confirmed namjoon's suspicions that they were around the same age, to be true. however they didn't talk to each other, as the beige boy sat a row behind the pink boy.

namjoon noticed the way the beige boy scrunched his nose as he looked at his phone, before sighing and muttering something. he adjusted his belt, throwing a glance at namjoon.

they caught each other's eyes. namjoon seemed frozen, at once, glued to the beige boy's eyes. one millisecond felt like eons before the beige boy tore his eyes away from namjoon, his cheeks flushing slightly. namjoon noticed the boy wore a little eye makeup.

namjoon's own cheeks blushed. he loved the beige boy.


	5. 4.27pm

namjoon waved goodbye to the bus driver. it was almost dark now, the sky a darker shade of orange and as namjoon turned, the other side was blue.

he contemplated watching the sun set for a little while, but shook his head as he watched the bus drive away. he saw the pink boy run his hands through his hair and a smile formed on his face.

maybe he could watch it for a little while. after all, he wouldn't be here tomorrow. this would be his last sunset, he realised.

he sat on a bench, opening his notebook and began noting the little things he had seen that day.

he looked up as a streetlight flickered to life above him, as he realised it was dark. the sun simply peeked out on the horizon.

the little things.

goodbye, little things, he wrote, and grimaced once he was finished, spotting the large bridge a 20 minutes walk away.

namjoon felt his phone buzz in his pocket - it was no doubt seokjin, and he picked up immediately.

'joon?' jin's voice crackled to life, 'where are you?'

'i'm on my way back now, i just got off the bus,' namjoon stated, shoving the notebook back into his bag and standing.

'okay, how long will you be?' namjoon looked down at his feet, feeling a hint of guilt.

'about 20 minutes,' he looked back up at the bridge.

'okay, see you then,'

'jin hyung,' namjoon hesistated, 'i love you,' he heard jin chuckle on the other end, not knowing the weight of the words.

'i love you too, joon,' and with that, he hung up.

namjoon looked around once more. he had been here so many times, the lonely streets of seoul that seemed no different than any other city to most.

however if you looked closely, you could spot a gang member help an old woman with her shopping, and an old man help a schoolgirl. teenagers call each other, laughing and talking. people making their lives special, making memories and being happy.

namjoon knew, however, there were sad moments too. a teenager killing themselves over school, or getting into drugs and the death of a grandparent. the breakup of a couple.

but all of it mixed into the great city of seoul, where you felt trapped and sad, but sometimes felt like you could take over the world. namjoon loved seoul. 

he loved the world, really. the world and all it's pretty little things.


	6. 4.50pm

namjoon made his way to the bridge, hesitating as he neared it until he was barely moving, making baby steps towards the bridge.

he heard a car pass. a dog bark. the wind flickered in his ears, and he inhaled deeply, and began to climb the bridge, finally coming to a halt in the middle of the river.

he looked down, gasping slightly at the distance. he could barely see the water, a dark abyss underneath him. that made it scarier, what he had to do.

did he really want to do this? he trembled as he looked down again. but the overwhelming sadness was still there, a voice in his head urging him to just give up.

he slung off his backpack, trying his hardest to ignore the tears running down his face.

his phone rang again. he knew it was seokjin. he fumbled for his phone, his fingers numbed by the cold wind.

'jin hyung, i got held up! i'm about 5 minutes away!' namjoon tried, over the wind. he closed his eyes to concentrate on seokjin's reply.

'are you sure you're okay? your food is getting cold,' seokjin moaned, and namjoon laughed loudly.

'i'm fine, hyung! don't worry, i love you!' and namjoon threw his phone into the river, letting out a loud sob.

why was he lying? he wasn't fine. he hated lying. he hated lying to seokjin, and he felt sicker now he had lied and knowing seokjin would get a call confirming namjoon was, infact, far from fine.

he leaned forward into the river, dangling precariously on the edge. until he took a deep breath, until it hurt his lungs.

he released it, but his breath was whipped away because he was falling, plummeting into the dark abyss.

he heard seokjin cry. he immediately regretted his choice. he wanted to be back on the bridge. he wanted to walk away. why couldn't he walk away?

but instead he was falling, falling, falling.

smack.

namjoon hit the cold water.


End file.
